When one party asks the other to sign a prenup, there is usually tension. The one not making the request objects to it. When reasonable answers are given to objections, negotiating a prenup can actually improve a relationship.
Having a prenup means we don’t trust each other. A discussion of the terms of a prenup occurs in a trusting relationship, when each party feels free to discuss their own concerns. Each party is trusted to provide full disclosure of their assets and debts. Skills learned in negotiating this sensitive subject can be an indication on how problems can be solved during the marriage
We don’t need a prenup because we are never going to get divorced. As nice as that thought is, no one can predict the future. Everyone hopes for the best, but happily ever after doesn’t work out for everyone. Plus, if you don’t get divorced, you never need to talk about the prenup again. Meanwhile it acts as an insurance policy. It’s there if you need it, but you hope you never do.
Having a prenup will make me worry all the time that a divorce is imminent. Actually, having a prenup sets aside worries about what will happen in case of divorce. Decisions concerning asset division, spousal support, debt allocation and others are all determined so that you can rest easy and set aside sleepless nights, knowing how your financial situation will be affected in the event you do divorce.
If we do divorce sometime in the distant future, the prenup we enter in today may be unfair. As years pass, you can renegotiate the terms, only it will then be a “postnup” not a prenup. You can also add a clause that says the prenup will expire upon a date certain. For example, if the marriage lasts a certain number of years, the prenup will no longer be valid.